Hi, Your Sex Horoscope for the Weekend Is Here


What’s happening: Saturday is jam-packed with chaotic astro-weather. First, Mars, the planet of action and libido, squares off with Jupiter, the planet of growth and abundance, and sends your sex drive through the roof. At the same time, Venus hooks up with dreamy Neptune, providing the perf atmosphere for romance.

Plan a nap for Sunday, when the Sun bumps into Saturn, the planet of obstructions and limitations, making you feel less confident and more tired. You’ll feel better on Tuesday, when the Sun squares off with Uranus, the planet of surprises and disruption, creating a volatile, high energy astro-vibe. On Thursday, two big transits pop off. The first is something called “the Sun conjunct Jupiter,” which makes you feel more confident, motivated, and ready for action. The second is called “Venus conjunct Pluto,” and it empowering you to make major changes in your relationships.

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What that means for you:

Aries

You’re feeling a lot of tension this weekend—sexual tension. It’s a spectacular weekend for romance, intimacy, and DTRing/upgrading your relationship, but Saturn is screwing with your head and making you feel less confident. If you really, really want somebody, you gotta shoot your shot! Otherwise, you’ll be stuck with a sense of longing and tension (the not-so-nice kind). You have nothing to lose, bb. Just go for it!

Taurus

NGL, work is high-key stressing you TF out this weekend, but the connection between Venus and dreamy Neptune is making your Saturday perfect for romance! If you’re boo’d up, you’re being encouraged to spice up your love life. New toys, lingerie, new kinks, etc. are all great ideas to play around with this weekend. If you’re single, the stars are simply encouraging you to get out of your comfort zone—which has been a theme for you lately—so slide into your crush’s DMs or start flirting with that new cutie at work.

Gemini

Whenever there’s any cosmic action in Capricorn, it activates your chart’s zone of intimacy (*wiggles eyebrows*). Capricorn’s been a zodiac hotspot for the past three-ish years, but the intense, heavy vibe is finally lifting after this week. Be honest with yourself: What lessons have you learned about commitment and trust in the past couple years? How have your relationship goals and values changed? This week’s astro-weather is intense. Venus and Pluto, the planet of transformation, have their annual hookup on Thursday, and it’s empowering you to take those lessons you’ve learned and regain control of your love life. This might mean asking someone out, DTRing, breaking up, or choosing to be single for a while. Once Venus flies into Aquarius at the end of the month, your love life is defs picking up the pace—you just gotta deal with this final transit first.

Cancer

This weekend’s vibe is… interesting. Mars and Jupiter are squaring off, which sends your libido into overdrive, and Venus and dreamy Neptune are connecting, creating the perf vibe for ~romance~. Buuuut, the Sun/Saturn connection can bring performance issues in bed or make you feel more hesitant to shoot your shot. Listen: If you want something/someone, you gotta go out there and get it. Take a risk, Cancer! If you do, it’ll pay off: The Sun connects with lucky Jupiter on Thursday, helping you give your relationship a major glow-up.

Leo

What are your relationship goals, Leo? Are you happy with casual flirtationships? Are you looking for love? Do you want to take things to the ~next level~ with your boo? Or do you think it’s time to break up with them? Well guess what—you gotta work in order to hit these relationship goals! You have a tiny tendency to blame your boo if your relationship isn’t working, but the stars are telling you to check yourself. You need to adjust the ways you approach your love life on a day-to-day basis. You are so not about this kind of self-analytical, hard work, but you’re in luck this week! Thursday’s Jupiter/Sun conjunction is one of the most positive transits of the year, and it’s lighting up your chart’s zone of relationships—adjust your behavior just a little bit, and you’ll quickly see positive results!

Virgo

I have good news and bad news, Virgo. The bad: Your job is low-key taking over your life (sorry!). The good: Saturday and Thursday’s astro-weather activating your chart’s zone of romance, sex, and fun, helping you seriously level-up your love life. Saturday’s nice if you’re looking for love or just want to be sweet and flirty—Neptune’s influence is dreamy and romantic. On the other hand, the keyword for Thursday’s transit is “passion,” whether that means amazing sex, a super successful first date, or just spending a cute night in with your boo. Whenever you have a spare minute off the clock, getting lucky is defs in the stars.

Libra

Hot-and-bothered Mars squaring off with expansive Jupiter this weekend is turning you into a total horndog! Unfortunately, Saturn is trying to rain on your parade. You have the confidence and charisma to find a cutie this weekend, but if you come on too strong, you run a veeeeerrrry high risk of pushing them away! The Sun squaring off with Uranus on Tuesday carries similar vibes, and so does the Sun/Jupiter conjunction on Thursday. TL;DR: This week can be a ton of fun, but try to reel it in if you don’t want to scare your paramour away!

Scorpio

All of your feelings—good and bad—are way stronger this week, and you’re feeling more open about those feelings. If your love life is in pretty good shape, this week can be unforgettably passionate, super intimate, and über romantic. But if you and bae are on rocky ground, this week can be equally as unforgettable…but for all the wrong reasons! Try to focus on the positives this week, Scorpio. Sure, it’s cheesy, but the saying “every cloud has a silver lining” is very true. Use all of the passion and emotion you’re feeling to make constructive, positive choices, and you can avoid drowning in your feels!

Sagittarius

If you’re thinking about shooting your shot or starting “The Talk” with your special someone, try to hold off until later in the week. On top of ctrl +alt +deleting your sex drive, Saturn’s influence makes it super easy to word vomit in the worst way. Thankfully, on Thursday, the Sun connects with Jupiter—your ruling planet, and also the planet of luck and expansion—in your chart’s communication zone, making it way, way easier to let your Sagittarian charisma and charm shine through.

Capricorn

You’re being dealt a pretty nice hand this weekend, Capricorn! Saturday’s Mars square Jupiter is an amazing transit for getting down and dirty, and the sextile between Venus and Neptune provides an abundance of romantic potential, too! This week, Uranus, the planet of revolution, and Pluto, the planet of transformation, are aspected by the Sun, suggesting major changes for your love life. The best part is that you’re the one in control. Don’t be afraid to hit up your crush, start “The Talk” with your boo, or even have a tough convo with your partner—Pluto and Uranus are on your side, so you can get shit done and make some magic happen!

Aquarius

This weekend? Not so hot, unfortunately. Not only is Venus in Capricorn making your love life dryer than the Mojave Desert, but it’s also making issues with an ex pop up. And on top of that, Saturn in your sign is making it incredibly difficult for you to share your feelings with your special someone—it can even make you feel like your crush/boo is totally ignoring you. Aquarius season 2021 isn’t ruined by this transit though, because on Thursday, the Sun/Jupiter connection makes you more charming, attractive, and helps you instigate a ton of positive growth in your life. It’s a major turnaround from the weekend’s shitty astro-weather!

Pisces

Balancing out this weekend’s intense astro-weather ain’t easy, but you can work on improving your love life this weekend if you figure it out! On one hand, Mars square Jupiter makes you uncharacteristically confident (and super horny!), but on the other hand, Venus sextile Neptune is encouraging you to be more gentle, romantic, and emotional. This dreamy, lusty blend of energy can lead to passionate sex, or extremely intimate moments with someone special—but it can also make it easy to come on way too strong, or catch major feelings who’s only looking for something casual. Try to make smart choices when it comes to your love life this week, Pisces, and you can make some real magic happen!

You’d look cute in this astro merch:

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